Posted in Film Reviews, Me Thinks

Quartet Film Reviews – Part III

Behold!

Suicide Squad

These hommies ain’t no Avengers, that’s for sure.

My Rating: 2.5/5

The plot is weak. Like reeeally, reeeally weak. Hilarious even, that one of the same people they recruited turned on them and they spent the whole movie fighting that guy. Amanda Waller should have just died of shame then and there.
I liked Jared Leto and his joker and even more his relationship with Harley Quinn. Those scenes were probably the best.
The absolute worst thing in this movie is Cara Delevigne’s portrayal of the Enchantress. She’s the complete opposite of a villain you take seriously.

This film was fun to watch but I’ve already forgotten about it and I don’t feel the urge to see it again.

 

War For The Planet Of Apes

I’ve loved every single Planet of the Apes movie so far (the new ones) and this was brilliant too!

My Rating: 4.5/5

They stir something inside you. Caesar is tremendously amazing to watch. The emotions captured on his face are so absolutely beautiful to see. Andy Serkis is a genius! It was deeply affecting and I loved every minute of it.

Spider-Man: Homecoming

My Rating: 4.5/5

It’s Marvel, duh. I had stopped doubting them ages ago.

Well, this Peter Parker is legit the worst superhero ever, and it’s freaking adorable. The kid is having the time of his life trying to catch criminals. He succeeds half the time, the rest he just ends up pissing people instead. He’s so caught up in this fever that he unwittingly displays mild jerk behavior. But it makes sense, what he’s going through.

I love all the main and supporting characters, I love all the cameos and I love the villain. He actually wasn’t as menacing as the trailer made him out to be. The thing that pleased me the most is the use of the Spider-Man theme song as the main soundtrack of the film. That was GENIUS. Why didn’t anybody ever think of that before?

Wonder Woman

BADASS.

My Rating: 4.75/5

You know what the best thing about this film is? The message is handled so subtly and effortlessly, without doing it too much or beating it on the head like a stick, it’s powerful and effective and so damn refreshing. So there was none of that (although I was expecting it):

Nothing in the film is overdone. I LOVED IT.

The film carries the same DC tone: gritty, dark and brooding but it’s also emotional, funny and action-packed. Gal Gadot is SPECTACULAR and the supporting characters are amazing!

The Amazons fighting is the thing you never knew you wanted to see. The action-sequences are LIT, the acting is RAD, the story is LEGIT and Wonder Woman is BAE.

This is the end of Quartet Film Reviews for now, I believe.

Cheers!

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Posted in Film Reviews, Me Thinks

Quartet Film Reviews – Part II

The rampage continues…

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

My Rating: 5/5

Now, now. Don’t get your knickers in a twist. Regardless of what Rotten Tomatoes’ rating shows, it’s a good film. On an entertainment scale, it’s a solid five stars. And since that is the reason I watch a movie in the first place, to be entertained, I’d say it does its job pretty well. The movie’s main theme is beautifully composed, Henry Turner is MAJOR eye-candy and then you have the usual ridiculousness that made me guffaw uproariously in plenty.

The humor is positively priceless and the chaos happening all around is only too easy to be immersed in. But even though I did not care about such things as the plot and et cetera, I couldn’t help but notice a few, shall we say, off things.

  • Captain Jack has, mostly, lost his old charm. He’s more of a drunkard fool than the legendary pirate he once was. Seriously, he does nothing but run and scream and drink rum and be silly. Not a moment of seriousness or even a scene where he gets to show what makes him him, you know?
  • The film is predictable. I’ll take one instance that proves it: Karina the scientist has been struggling her whole life to find what her father supposedly wanted her to. When she gets mixed up with the pirates she finds her father *GASP* unknowingly and the moment she realizes who he is, he dies. Now there’s a waste of a perfectly good character.
  • There is too much happening at once. The writers were like yeh bhi daal do, yeh bhi daal do, sab hi daal do and they didn’t do it very coherently either. There’s Henry trying to break his father’s curse, Karina trying to find the island, the British Empire is chasing the pirates, Salazar screaming bloody murder after Jack and he’s like sandwiched between all of this, helpless.

  • It feels to me like the plot was written by a kid. I mean, random things happen that are supposed to connect the dots but they are just so, random. Find the book, wait for the blood moon, read the book, look at the stars, keep driving, arrive on an island, the island has stars, fit the missing piece, the sea will divide, and on and on. It’s like an ancient, cheap and unimaginative treasure hunt game.
  • Nothing makes sense. What the heck did Jack’s compass had to do with imprisoning the Spaniard and his crew, I don’t bloody know. Barbosa said something about the bald witch having a hand in the curse but the compass was the thing keeping them in the triangle? What’s so special about that compass? Also, since Salazar and his crew died and were cursed AFTER that, shouldn’t they all have died when the curse was broken? Instead they came alive.

Ah, well. I still retain that it was an enjoyable film but a not very structured one. The reunions were really sweeeet.

After Rewatch: I didn’t come any closer to understanding what I didn’t the first time except for the fact that the witch didn’t have anything to do with Salazaar’s curse, she was talking about cursing Barbosa’s enemies to repay his favor. No, it was, inexplicably, the compass. Huh. Also, I’ve come to really admire the music of the film. The main theme is so hypnotic.

 

Alien: Covenant

I hate Space. HATE IT.

Like, literally, every space movie besides the Guardians of the Galaxy should be renamed “Shit that can happen in space and 101 excellent reasons why you should never go there” parts I, II, III and so on…

This film is one major GAG-fest. I am stuck like a pendulum between giving it one star and giving it 3+ stars. Because the film is not that bad, I just happen to not like horror. Plus, these particular films give off very haunting vibes what with all shades of black and blue and gray and the frequent splashes of red. So…

My Rating: 2.5/5

I’ve seen Prometheus and I tried to watch the first Alien film, never got past John Hurt’s chest bursting open. I guess I wasn’t in the mood. These are prequels so I have no idea what happens in the future.

I totally saw that Walter/David switch coming. A horror science fiction film with killer aliens where people come out alive and stay that way? Whaaat? You speak nonsense, I dare say! My heart broke a little, I was shipping Daniels and Walter real hard. Michael Fassbender is awesome but it was a bit off-putting watching him kiss himself.

Yeah, so, why DID those Engineers want to kill humanity by that pathogen? This film doesn’t answer that question. And if David didn’t deem humans worthy, why the HECK did he kill all those aliens?

I may or may not watch the next films to find out. GAAAAAG.

 

The Mummy

My, my. This film is terrible. Like, literally, it’s the worst film I’ve seen in a while and definitely the worst Mummy film ever. The mummies must be turning in their, uh, caskets.

My Rating: 1.5/5

This half star is for Jake Johnson. For the short while he was there, he provided a nice distraction. Because this film is a complete mess. Russell Crowe is a bit of a stretch, even Tom Cruise couldn’t save this. It’s too dank and dry and the little moments of humor feel forced. No, I prefer the original Mummy series. Brendan Fraser may not be Tom Cruise but he’s still the man!

This is an accurate facial review of this film by the way. Tehehehe. I was like, whaaaaaa, go home, bitch.

So, no, in conclusion.

 

Assassin’s Creed

Ah, Michael Fassbender, we meet again!!

Cure for violence and aggression? Genetic code of Free Will? EH? *shakes head* I thought these people were supposed to be smart.

My Rating: 2.5/5

Not only did much of the film not make sense, it was so underwhelming. The ending especially. I was like, MEH. Visually breathtaking but empty of energy inside. Empty of a lot things actually, like common sense for example. I mean, cure for violence? ARE YOU NUTS.

The score was nice and the roof-jumping too.

Have you seen any of these films? What did you think? Let’s rant/fangirl!

 

 

 

Posted in Film Reviews

Quartet Film Reviews – Part I

Doesn’t that sound cool? Doesn’t it? DOESN’T IT?!

I just made that up because:
a) I seriously needed to write another blog post
b) I saw four movies back to back recently
c) I felt like reviewing them and separately would’ve been too much of a, … hassle.

I hope to God you understand that reference soon ’cause there is nothing sadder than an unappreciated joke. Nothing.

So anyhoo, I went eight and a half months without watching much of anything until now when I’ve finally decided to watch ’em all together. Last week I’ve seen, in that order, four films (obviously):

1- Kong: Skull Island
2- Gifted
3- The Lego Batman Movie
4- Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

Let’s go backwards with the reviews, eh?

https://images1.newscred.com/Zz02ZGJkM2JkYTI4MWM3OGRkMjJmYTRjMWU1YzJiNjI1Yw==

 

The Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2:

RATING: 5/5

Also known as the most AWESOME, COOL, HILARIOUS AND FUN MOVIE IN THE ENTIRE FRICKIN’ GALAXY.

I underestimated the first movie and I underestimated the second. How absolutely delightful are these people? Great music: check. Amazing character development: check. Humor: DOUBLE check. Baby Groot:

A GAZILLION CHECKS.

I laughed my butt off, awwed countless times because of that lil’ munchkin and was blown away by the general coolness of the film. IT IS SPECTACULAR!!!
I went into it blind and only when 75% of the movie had passed did I realize who or what Ego was. I had read about him on wikipedia a long time ago, he was a Marvel villain, and that didn’t immediately come back to me. Dave Bautista’s Drax was the cause of those countless gales of laughter. Dude, that guy is so stupid and blunt and annoying, it’s funny as HECK.

And don’t even get me started on Groot. People were already oohing and aahing over him before this which I didn’t get but now I do. And I absolutely LOVED the fact that everyone on the team acted like a parent to him, especially Quill.

The character relationships evolved so perfectly and they packed emotional punches. Nebula and Gamora, Yondu and Peter, Peter and Rocket, I was speechless. And lemme just say this, I WILL NEVER GET OVER YONDU’S DEATH. HOW COULD YOU, MARVEL? You gave us such a cute scene between Yondu and Quill. AND THEN KILLED HIM RIGHT AFTER.

WTF

Yeah, that’s probably the only thing I wasn’t too hot for. It’s amazing, really, how good this film is. The first film came out more than two years ago and I had pretty much forgotten about everyone other than the main gang. And now, during the span of two hours, I not only liked all the characters but grew emotionally attached to them enough to feel devastated when they went through shit. That whole Yondu funeral scene gave me the feels.

Bottom line is, this is a film worth going nuts for.

 

The Lego Batman Movie

RATING: 5/5

Holy Chocolate Starfish Batman! This movie is SO DARN COOL.

There are literally tons and TONS of things in this which are awesome and hilarious and fun. It’s the 99 percent of the movie so I’m not even going to try to list them. Ralph Fiennes is in it. RALPH FREAKING FIENNES. And you know what the travesty of the highest order is? He doesn’t voice Voldemort. Like, why?

So Batman is his usual self. Loves Darkness with a capital D, edgy, heavy metal rap music, isolation, has no feelings and feels nothing except for rage. It’s priceless.

He’s also a big baby.

Will Arnett has literally the best Batman voice ever!! And he did such an amazing job with this. His voice is 70% of the reason why I love this film.

I wasn’t totally into the idea of an animated film with Legos when the first movie was about to come out. I was like, “how can they do that, it sounds so stupid.” Well, the joke’s on me.

WINGARDIUM LEVIO-SHUTUP!
Tee Hee

 

Gifted

RATING: 3.75/5

A sweet but simple film. The performances were amazing. Captain America makes a great uncle, lemme tell ya. And that was basically the selling point of the film; the beautiful father-daughter/uncle-niece relationship between the two. I loved it!

 

Kong: Skull Island

RATING: 3/5

Yeeeeah, I wasn’t feeling the love too much. I mean, it’s super cool with all the neat action sequences and scary monsters plus Tom Hiddleston who’s really nice to look at. Like, really, really nice. Seriously, he’s the only thing of beauty among the ugliness. But, apart from that, I found the movie predictable. Nothing much was holding it together save for these sweet monster-kicking-monster’s-ass scenes.

The characters have no real connection and that bond you see, for instance, in GG2. The comparison is a bit unfair but still. It was remarkably like that new Godzilla movie. I don’t remember much except that Godzilla fought evil demon creatures that came out of the sea and then he said “peace out” and dove straight in and disappeared for good. Kong essentially does the same thing except that now, the humans are on his turf instead of the other way around.

Other movie it reminded me of was Jurassic World. Park. Er, any Jurassic movie basically, what with the “stranded-on-an-island-with-monsters-running-loose” plot.

So, yeah. When you’re done being awed by the sweetness, it’s pretty meh. Also, this is part of the Monsterverse? A-han.

Aaaaaaaaand, I’m done. Part II will come soon.

Posted in Anime, Film Reviews, TV Shows

Original Versus New: Death Note

Rule # 1: The person who watches this film expecting no deviation from the original and a completely faithful adaptation is stupid.

Rule # 2: After starting the movie, drastic changes from the Japanese version will become evident withing six minutes and forty seconds.

Rule # 3: A person who still doesn’t get over it and rages at the variation should a) watch the Japanese adaptations instead or b) get a life.

Rule # 4: If you are reading this, expect spoilers.

Just sayin’.

Willem Dafoe’s Ryuk voice is DA THANG, YO HOMMIES!!! He absolutely nailed the “Humans are so interesting” line. I didn’t catch wings on his Ryuk, though but that is probably because I didn’t pay much attention. Otherwise, his rendition was flawless and so damn scary.

So, shall we begin?

Differences between the Anime version and the Film version:

    • First of all, Light Yagami, or, Light Turner as he is in this film. He is not an asshole, he is not a psychopath, he is not a veritable JERK and he’s not messed up in the head. He’s a teenager who has a somewhat difficult life after losing his mother and he’s bullied in school. Relations between him and his dad are strained because he blames his father for not doing anything about his mother’s murder. Long story short: His life’s not perfect, he is not completely evil, his motivation for picking up the death note stems from his tough experiences rather than idealism.
      Whereas Yagami was the exact opposite: horse’s ass, perfect life, evil and idealistic.
    • This is a 2-hour film which adequately explains the fact that a huge chunk of the original story is missing. In fact, apart from the central idea and a few main characters, everything is new. So no Matsuda, Aizawah, Rem, Near and a lot of other characters.
    • The film does a much, MUCH better job at explaining things, particularly Light and L’s pasts and why they are what they are. With the anime I was disappointed in terms of L’s origin story.
    • Misa Amane is Mia and she as worse as the original one. While Misa was gullible, willing to go to extreme lengths for Light, Mia displays the same love but it’s overshadowed by her need to have the Death Note. In this version, she is more idealistic than Light himself. He tries to draw a line multiple times but she fights against it.
    • Their relationship is obviously not one-sided this time as Light isn’t dead inside.
    • Ryuk is considerably more malevolent. The shinigami don’t  goad the owners or “keepers” of the Death Note but he coerces Light whenever he gets the chance.
    • Yagami encountered Ryuk in his room while being calm AF while Turner lost his shit while inside a classroom during detention. It was hilarious. Nat Wolff really has a very nice scream.
    • L remains L and Watari remains Watari. I have EXTREMELY mixed feelings about the American version of L. He’s black, which in itself is absolutely fine, BUT, I wanted to see him, above all others, true to the anime version. He’s supposed to be pale as death, queer in his habits with dark circles under his eyes, evidence of his lack of sleep and sun. I put it past me after a while and was able to enjoy the actor’s portrayal. His mannerisms, way of speaking and the incessant munching was so accurate I was almost delighted. Until, L turned out to be insane. Yup. He’s aggressive, hysterical, he shouts (which the original L never did) and he seems unhinged. Again, the L I love was odd and everything but he had this way about himself, that soft way of speaking. The actor mimicked this softness pretty well but it didn’t last long.
    • The gory details, though.

  • I loved how Light turned the situation in his favor at the end despite being double-crossed by Mia. I thought that was AWESOME and reminded me of  Light Yagami for a second.

I had my qualms but this was as good as it was gonna get. I’m chilled but that’s gotta be because I’m not a die-hard fan of Death Note. If someone did something like this to, say, Harry Potter I would have totally flipped out and destroyed everything in my path, BUT, the thing is, where adaptations are concerned, you have got to keep your head and realize that if a different country/language is interpreting something, they’re likely to either modify things according to their culture or take some form of artistic license. You want a faithful adaptation? Well, then go watch the Japanese versions. Easy peasy. But showering a man with death threats AFTER he was given permission to do his own spin by the CREATORS? You are messed up, people. That’s all I have to say.

My Rating: 6.5/10

 

Posted in Film Reviews, Me Stuff

Logan: The Lone Wolf of War

Ten years. That’s how long it’s been for me. Half of my life, if you will. I’ve watched this ageless man age and grow and suffer while kicking ass and taking names. I’ve loved him and cried for him and wanted nothing more than to just give him a hug. Before, Iron Man, Captain America, Black Panther and the Avengers, there were X-men. And among X-men, there was Wolverine. No one deserves such pain, especially a good man like him. A good man who just wanted to be left alone but got dragged back into the fight every time. He fought to be more than what they made him to be. He was … beautiful.

I saw the film two nights ago. It, as they say these days, slayed my very existence, shook me to my core, made me reminisce, nostalgic and so very, very sad. The film was depressingly brutal and beautifully fitting. For a man like Logan, this was truly how it could end, to die giving all he had left for someone else to live to fight another day. That sucker.

Now, I don’t know about you, but this makes my throat close up and gives me an uncontrollable urge to cry. Emphasis on the uncontrollable.

The movie begins with a sleeping Wolverine waking up to the sounds of thugs stealing the tires of his Limo. He tries, very nicely, to ask them to step away, they don’t, he tries again, less nicely this time, they beat him up, he flies into his trademark rage and tears them apart, defending himself.

If you have never seen or heard about Logan/Wolverine before which is EXTREMELY unlikely, this scene perfectly sums up his entire existence for you.

I don’t mind violence in a film, as in, if it’s rated R because of violence and language and not sexual content (prudish alert!), I will watch it given that it’s something I want to see, like this film. I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Having said that, I don’t enjoy it. The sheer level of bloody murder and nasty ripping-open-flesh-and-bone action in this film had me like:

He’s limping around the entire length of the film, barely able to hold himself together and trying to take care of his beloved friend and mentor while being repeatedly shot at, stabbed, mutilated and kicked. LEAVE HIM ALONE. HE DIDN’T DESERVE ANY OF THIS. The whole film was emotional torture of the highest kind.

I’ve respected, admired, loved and rooted for this guy since I was ELEVEN. I’ve seen him go through shit and rise back up again, only to be put in the same shit in the next film. It went on and on but it was easier to ignore how lonely and miserable his life was because of the lightness of every film’s tone. It was virtually impossible to do that with this film, not only because it was darker, grittier and more realistic than all the rest with no humor whatsoever but also because Wolverine in this film is not what he once was, his prime long gone. I was hit and I was hit hard.

Another reason why I think he was subjected to violence more than the rest was due to the fact that he possessed healing abilities. Ooooh, this guy can’t be killed! So let’s choke the life out of him, let’s be as savage as possible. UGH. Watch this film and see what kind of impossible barbarity he was put through. And yet he ploughed on through life enduring shit after shit after shit.

“I’ve hurt people too.”
“You’re gonna have to learn how to live with that.”
“They were bad people.”
“All the same.”

This was perhaps the most beautiful conversation in the entire film, one that was mercilessly honest and gut-wrenching. Old man Logan gives his little girl advice, one that she’s going to need to remember in the future, one that is completely devoid of any sort of sugar-coating. Really, it would be wrong on so many levels if it was. The one giving it, the one it was being given to, the circumstances that lead to it, everything demanded it. There’s no “it’s going to be okay”, a hug or even a pat on the back. No, he’s straight as an arrow with Laura because he knows her life and sanity depends on it. That, and…

“Don’t be what they made you.”

Oh, don’t worry about me. Who needs a heart anyway?

With X-men he finally found a home, friends, loved ones, a place where he could live in peace. Never lasted very long, did it?

My familiarity with the character is restricted to the films alone. I haven’t seen the animated versions of him nor the comic book ones. For me, the only version of Wolverine that exists or matters is Hugh Jackman’s.

See? He was precious. He was frickin’ perfect. But what did they do, after decades of torture? They KILLED him. Oh, yeah. If you didn’t know and have just been spoiled, consider this my revenge.

Won’t lie, I was in denial when both Professor X and Logan died. With the Professor I thought it was a dream and with Logan I kept waiting for an end credits scene or his hand to suddenly pop out of the grave. Nah.

If I say anything more I’d essentially be repeating myself but here’s the last of it: I love you Logan/ James/ Wolverine, whatever you were called, and you would always be my hero.

Farewell,
X

NOPE.

Posted in Film Reviews, Me Thinks

Absolute Favorite Animated Films (AFAF)

Holla! Me again. This time I’ll bedazzle you with the list of animated movies that have stolen pieces of my soul one by one. With my consent, of course.
As before, I’ll list them in categories; the top ones and the honorable mentions.

ZE TOP 10+:

So these are the ones that I love and adore equally and I can’t really choose between them, they’re all so different and unique and awesome. I’ll further divide these into two segments:

#1) Childhood Favorites:

Spirited Away:

This is an Anime, a Studio Ghibli film and best one. I saw this years and years ago and despite watching it just once, it stayed with me for a long, long time until I decided to rewatch it. I didn’t know that I could love it more than I already did. It’s spectacular and strange and filled with incredible weirdness. It’s a classic.

Sinbad The Legend of the Seven Seas:

Why in the world is this film so flipping underrated? WHY? WHAT IS WRONG WITH HUMANITY? I never really could understand it. From the music to the story, the visual, the plot, the humor and the characters, it is MAGNIFICENT. It has one of the best openings to a film ever. It made me happy then and it makes me happy now. Brad Pitt voices Sinbad and he might just be the most endearing animated male character you have ever seen. Seriously, people, watch this movie. You can thank me later.

The Emperor’s New Groove:

The humor of this one is RAD. It’s why I loved it so much when I first watched it. I was about 10 or 12 and I remember laughing throughout the duration. The protagonist, Emperor Kuzko is an ass, Pacha and his family are so stinking cute and Kronk and Yzma make you guffaw with their antics. It is pure, unadulterated fun.

The Corpse Bride:

It’s creepy and nightmarish and garish and basically Tim Burton at his finest. Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter voice the leads. It is as far removed from a cheery, happy film like Frozen as you can get and I have been smitten with it since FOREVER. The visuals are stunning, the songs are gloomy and it is unlike most, if not all, animated films which is a biiiiig plus in its favor.

Mulan:

Yeah, nope. I don’t think I need to elaborate why I love this. Any body else fight the urge to stomp their feet and yell HI-YAH! during I’ll make a man out of you?

Beauty and the Beast:

For detail, please visit one of my earliest posts about why I love Beauty and the Beast and what I think about the live-action adaptation. Chop-chop!

https://inaholetherelivedme.wordpress.com/2017/05/24/animation-to-live-action-thoughts-on-beauty-and-the-beast/

The Road to El-dorado:

Again, it was the humor. Kids watch things for the fun of it not to understand the deeper meaning behind things and if the film is funny, it’s destined to remain with them forever. Two best friends, con men actually, go on a hopeless quest to find the lost city of El-Dorado rumored to be made of gold. The music is wonderful and catchy and The Trail We Blaze by Elton John is one of my favorite songs.

Oh, and the blonde one? That’s Kenneth Branagh.

#2) Recent Ones:

Howl’s Moving Castle:

This one, though. AAAAAH. I watched this because I was bored and couldn’t find anything else. Little did I know that it was going to blow my brains out. Studio Ghibli films are freaking GEMS and this is the best one. Tee Hee. I told you I could never choose. Fun fact, it is based on the book of the same name by Diana Wynne Jones and the two despite being NOTHING alike are amazeballs in their own special ways. The people who drool over fictional men take note, Howl will forever remain in your heart. He’s sassy, arrogant and adorable. Read the book version too so you have a better idea.

Coraline:

Living daylights will be scared out of you. I promise you that. And you might just start hating buttons after watching it. *wink* It’s bloody fantastic!! Based on the book by Neil Gaiman, Coraline is a genius piece of art and I dare say the film is better than the book.

Anastasia:

This film was such a surprise. I had no idea it would be as delightful as it was. Once upon a December is an incredibly haunting and beautiful song and it’s also one of my favorites. Anastasia and Demetri’s dynamic was glorious and for a cartoon character, Demetri was disarmingly attractive. It’s based on a historical figure, a Russian princess if I’m not mistaken.

Rise of the Guardians:

Ooooooh! I HEART THIS.
Reason # 1: Alexander Desplat’s score.
Reason # 2: Jude Law’s seductive voice. He plays Pitch Black, the boogeyman.
Reason # 3: Jack Frost. ASDFGHJKL.
Reason # 4: The Sandman. Adorable as HECK.
Reason # 5: Santa Clause, Jack Frost, Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny all together.

Big Hero 6:

I’ll never get over Tadashi Hamada. You hear me? NEVER! And I’m most certainly NOT satisfied with my care. *sniff sniff* Everything in this movie is cute. Hiro, Baymax, Tadashi and Fred I loved above all. It’s sublime, yo. And the cameo at the end by Stan Lee? GENIUS.

How To Train Your Dragon:

Toothless and Hiccup are MY BABIES. It does not get any cuter and awesomer and magnificenter and bloody fantastic-er than this. The first film was SO good, I was pretty much obsessed with it until the second one came out which did not help at all. Cressida Cowell’s books are hilarious but they are very different from the movies. Hiccup is a cinnamon roll through and through but I’m glad for the movie version of Toothless. The book one is a Seadragonus Giganticus Maximus and it is a very unruly and tiny dragon.

Brave:

Scottish accent – Check
Scottish pipe music – Check
Kilts – Check
Red Hair – Check
A Defiant Female Character – Check
Archery – Check
Your arguments, if there were any, are beyond invalid.

ZE HONORABLE MENTIONS:

These are the ones that hold a special place in my heart for various reasons but they are one or two levels lower than the ones mentioned above. I’ll be dividing them into two parts as well.

Childhood Favorites:

In no particular order, mind you. We had some of these as CDs and we destroyed them by watching them over and over again.

Lilo and Stitch:

My brother and I have probably seen it about 53765825283529 times as kids. I’ve also played the game which is totally awesome.

Hercules Zero To Hero:

It was in a CD and I remember this more than the first one because of that. The ones that we had we replayed them as soon as the movie ended. My elder sister used to get so riled up with us for doing that. The game version of Hercules is fabulous too. This was funny beyond doubt.

The Prince of Egypt:

Both films but I liked the Moses one the most perhaps. Deliver Us was a perfect song with beautiful lyrics, the part with his mother in particular was tearful.

Basil The Great Mouse Detective:

Also on CDs. I remember enjoying this but also being a little scared, the villain rat is positively horrendous. It’s quite unlike anything I’ve ever seen. But then again, it’s probably true for a lot of other films.

Ratatouille:

I don’t like cooking but I think this is the kinda film that can make you want to cook. A rat that gets to fulfill his dream of being a chef by hiding under a human’s chef hat and controlling his movements? What? It’s intelligent and delicious and downright brilliant!

Shrek:

Donkey, two words: SHUT. UP.”
I had forgotten how much fun I always had while watching Shrek. The start where he’s bathing in dirt and shit is my favorite, obviously. Truth time: I never liked the fact that Fiona turned into an ogre instead of Shrek turning into a human. That was mini-me’s opinion, one that hasn’t changed since.

Brother Bear:

All three of us siblings loved this one! It was heart-melting. Again, mini-me didn’t like the fact that Kenai was turned into a bear forever but oh well.

Treasure Planet:

Another underrated film. It’s such a shame because this is spectacular from literally all aspects.

ACOTAR fans, you’re welcome.

Aladdin and the King of Thieves:

Aladdin 2, not 1. The best part? Robin Williams’ genie. There’s a party here in Agrabah…

The Hunchback of Notre Dame:

I found this film to be dark and a little horrifying. It was hard to take it lightly because I couldn’t decide whether to pity Quasimodo or be disgusted by him or love him. The film had a sombre atmosphere but it was undoubtedly a great one.

The Lion King 2: Simba’s Pride:

Don’t look at me! We watched and rewatched the ones we had on CDs and that’s why we loved them more than the others. We weren’t aware of that pesky little thing called the internet back then. But I do love the first one too. We are one is the sweetest song everrr!

The Incredibles:

I waited and waited and waited and am still waiting for a sequel. Seriously Pixar.

Recent Favorites:

Tangled:

Remember that movie that had THE most amazing songs and THE most handsome and charming rapscallion called Flynn Rider in it, the one that came before Frozen? Yup, that one. Guess what? I love it more.

Boxtrolls:

I found this to be funny and fun but when I showed it to my friend she absolutely hated it. I guess it’s one of those movies. What you can’t deny is that it is unusual and weird, for me, in a good way.

He’s called Eggs. Isn’t he just adorable?

Strange Magic:

This film was strange. Weird AF. Both visually and in terms of the story. I thought the songs were too over the top except for the last one between the Bog King and Marianne. I have seen this exactly one time. It didn’t stick with me but it stuck with me. Get it? It’s been described as a retelling of Beauty and the Beast where the Beast does not turn into a human. And herein lies the reason why it’s strange and wonderful at the same time.

The Lego Movie:

Why is this one so cool? Why does Chris Pratt sound so cool? How does a cool being like Morgan Freeman even exist? Lego Batman and Lego Dumbledore are two things I didn’t know I needed in my life. The level of coolness this movie has is off the charts.

The Croods:

When both father and daughter squeeze Guy and break his bones, when Grug tells his kids stories that always end with “AND DIEEEED”, when he attempts to be more intelligent than Guy, EMMA STONE!!!! I could go on. It’s basically a treasure trove of priceless moments.

Whisper of the Heart:

Another Studio Ghibli gem. I fell in love with it so hard. It’s a romantic film and it’s sweet and lovely and charming. Anime is LIFE, man.

I know there are legit HUNDREDS of other more popular animated films out there. They aren’t in this list either because I haven’t seen them yet or despite being amazing, they didn’t make much of an impression on me.

Comment your favorites down below and let me know what you think.

Cheers!

 

 

Posted in Film Reviews

Animation to Live-action: Thoughts on Beauty and the Beast

I want adventure in the great wide somewhere
I want it more than I can tell
And for once it might be grand
To have someone understand
I want so much more than they’ve got planned”

WARNING: The author is a bit obsessed with gifs. Expect loads of ’em.

As far as I can remember, whenever someone asked me who my favorite Disney princess was I always told them that Belle was my favorite and that Beauty and the Beast was my favorite fairy tale. Little me didn’t have any grand reasons as to why she preferred that particular princess and her story, indeed, the reasons were much more simple than what they are now.
I’ve heard some people relate why Belle’s character resonated with them so much  when they were mere kids and their reasons make me scoff so loud it can wake a dead person. Reasons like “she was such a strong character” or “the film changed my life” and the like. Folks, these are valid reasons and I totally believe that Belle is such a person. What I can’t believe is that that is why you liked her when you were, like, 6 years old. Pfht, seriously.

So what, you ask, were my reasons? They were two exactly:
a) Belle had brown eyes, I had brown eyes.
b) Belle had brown hair, I had brown hair.

It was like looking into a mirror. Tehehe.

When I was in school a lot of the girls had bags, geometry sets, notebooks and other stuff with all of the Disney princesses on them together and we would pick our favorites and these two things compelled me to say Belle from Beauty and the Beast every time.
There was another reason but it sat at the back of my mind and I never truly paid any attention to it: Beauty and the Beast was considerably more exciting than other fairy tales like say, Cinderella or Snow White. There was also the stark absence of any breed of step-mothers and it didn’t revolve around the girl wanting to get married. But this I understood later, not then. Children can be creative, thoughtful and intelligent but this kind of analytical thinking is possible only when you’re a bit mature, Hence the hideous scoffing.

So, now that we’ve covered what midget-me found appealing, let’s take a look at what dwarf-me loves about the beloved tale (in no particular order).

My New & Improved Reasons for loving Beauty and the Beast:

    • Belle has brown hair and brown eyes.
    • The story has more action and thrill than the other fairy tales.
    • I don’t care how bad it sounds but there’s something so exhilarating about the idea of seeing the ‘man behind the beast’, understanding him and then falling in love. Or the enemies-to-lovers thing, whatever you want to call it. It just shows how powerful love truly is.
    • Talking objects and the hilarity they cause.
    • There are no step-mothers.
    • Belle is fierce and brave and stands up for what she wants.
    • She wants more from her life, a feeling I’m sure all girls out there experience to varying degrees and extents. Including me.
I’ve never acknowledged how true these words ring, until now.
      • She loves books so much that she’s deemed odd by her townsfolk. Now why does that sound familiar?
Switch ‘Belle’ for ‘Sara’ and you’ll have the tag line of my life.
  • Tale as old as time, true as it can be. Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme, Beauty and the Beast.
  • Be Our Guest. I was absolutely captivated whenever I watched this part.

I automatically look for Beauty and the Beast based books whenever I’m researching retellings. The different takes on it are always fascinating but nothing beats the original. Which brings us to the 2017 live-action adaptation.

It was about 85% faithful to the original and it was extremely satisfying to see most of my favorite bits come to life. Some parts didn’t make it and I wasn’t much bothered by that. The film makers added more backstory to Belle, Beast and even Gaston and I appreciated that a lot. Since lists dictate my life and make it easier, here’s the film’s review in a list:

  • I liked every single actor in the film especially Kevin Kline as Maurice.
  • The CGI effects of the Beast and the household objects were actually pretty good. Not sure why people were making such a fuss about it. I believe the translation of the animation’s Beast to the live-action one was perfect. The horns were a nice touch.
  • I adore Emma Thompson and I think she’s the coolest person on the planet but she had this really, I don’t know what to call it, weird accent? Like the one where you don’t pronounce the ‘h’. So instead of here it is ‘ere. It would have been fine had it not shown in Tale As Old As Time. It ruined the overall sweetness of the song for me to be honest. I prefer the original.
  • Be Our Guest was also underwhelming. I was visually spectacular in some places but I ended up not liking it one bit. The one in the animation was more lively and fun while this one tried too hard but failed.
  • Luke Evans was delightful as Gaston. The thing that surprised me the most was the fact that unlike in the original, after listening to Maurice’s pleas about Belle being captured by the Beast, instead of dismissing him outright and making fun of him, he actually went along with him to find his daughter.
  • Gaston was the funniest and most well-executed song in the film.
  • The ballroom dance was PERFECTION. Le sigh.

  • There was, sadly, too little of Adam and Belle together. The dance at the end didn’t make up for it. I wanted a little more.

All in all, it was a mesmerizing experience, full of wonder, smiles and nostalgia. I loved it!

Tale as old as time
True as it can be
Barely even friends
Then somebody bends
Unexpectedly

Just a little change
Small, to say the least
Both a little scared
Neither one prepared
Beauty and the beast…

Bittersweet and strange
Finding you can change
Learning you were wrong


Tale as old as time
Song as old as rhyme
Beauty and the Beast

*sniffles*