Posted in Book Reviews, Bookish Balderdash

I reread the Lunar Chronicles and it was AWESOME!

“Even in the future the story begins with Once Upon a Time…”

It had been my greatest book-related wish to reread this series ever since I first read  it in December 2015.

I was devastated when I read it and it’s one of my absolute favorite series of all time. It’s number 4 on the list actually, after Harry Potter, Hunger Games and Percy Jackson. Just like I judge every Dystopian Fantasy by comparing it to the Hunger Games, I judge every YA Fairytale Retelling by comparing it to the Lunar Chronicles. The tragedy is, I’ve been disappointed on both accounts, but more so with the fairytale retellings.

None of the retellings I’ve read have ever come close to the ingenuity of this series. They are all either really weird or really disappointing, especially if they are short. Marissa Meyer herself had trouble repeating the goodness of these books. I’ve read her other books, Heartless and Renegades and I was supremely underwhelmed.

These books set the bar high.

Coming back to what I said before, I had wanted to reread this series for about two and a half years and yet couldn’t bring myself to. As I recently discovered what miraculous things audiobooks are, I decided to reread the Lunar Chronicles. Through the audiobooks. It took me two months to listen to all five books.

IT. WAS. DIVINE.

The narrator’s voice captured me from the very beginning and I can’t even begin to describe how much fun it was, listening to her do all of these different accents and characters. She did an incredible job! Rebecca Soler, consider me a fan.<3<3<3

Here’s how long each of the books took:

  • Cinder: 10 July – 18 July (8 days)
  • Scarlet: 19 July – 26 July (8 days)
  • Cress: 27 July – 10 August (15 days)
  • Fairest: 10 August – 15 August (5 days)
  • Winter: 16 August – 7 September (22 days)

I think my average was 1 hour mostly. Some days I managed to listen for hours and some barely a couple of minutes. It was one of the best experiences ever and I had a fantastic time revisiting these books I loved so much.

They all had their own opening theme music and the best ones were Cinder and Fairest. Fairest’s theme gave me chills, much like the book did the first time I read it.

It was bittersweet and amazing how the narration took me back to places that I had imagined the first time, but more powerfully. I was surprised to realize how well I remembered everything.

My least favorite book in the series is Scarlet and Scarlet and Wolf the least favorite couple. Take note, I said least ‘favorite’. That means I love them all but some more than others. I also realize now that Cinder is probably my most favorite book just because it started it all while Cress and Winter almost tie. Then there’s Fairest. GOSH. Okay, here’s how it is:

  • Cinder and Cress tie on the first place
  • Winter and Fairest tie on the second
  • Scarlet on the third place

Moreover, I LOVE these fan art posters of the characters. SO ACCURATE!

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As a couple, Winter and Jacin always give me the most feels. The princess and guard dynamic is too delicious. Cress and Thorne are adorable and I love Cress on a spiritual level because #shortgirls. Cinder and Kai are leaders and so admirable. Wolf and Scarlet happened too quickly and I haven’t fully been okay with that, especially after the reread. They’re cute and all but like I said, least favorite.

Marissa Meyer is clever and you can clearly tell this from how stupendously everything comes together and how the pieces all fit. I was struck dumb the first time and I was struck dumb again this time too. Things like Cinder’s metal foot, all the characters and their names but the name ‘Cinder’ most of all (because it has a clear history behind it unlike most of the names which fit the fairytale narrative and the original stories but don’t have a history to them), all three couples plus Jacin being Winter’s seven companions or dwarves and a million other things like that.

I haven’t come across anything this good ever since, though I’ve been reading retellings constantly in the hopes that I would.

“Love is a conquest, love is a war. Here is what I think of love.”

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Posted in Book Reviews, tags

Books Read in August + September TBR

I read eight books in August. If it wasn’t for this one particularly long book I might have read 10.  It’s okay, it’s okay. This does not bother me. At all. I guess. Or not.

Jim Halpert GIF

BLAH.

Anyway, these are the books I managed to read in August:

The Books of Ember:

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5/5

The City of Ember: It was awesome and it was unique and refreshing with that particular tone I first discovered while reading the Mortal Engines series: middle-grade but YA level dark.

The People of Sparks, The Prophet of Yonwood & The Diamond of Darkhold: The City of Ember #2, 3 and 4. I didn’t read these back-to-back though. Except perhaps the last one, these sequels/prequel didn’t capture the essence and tone of the first book which was glorious. But I did like all of them. This series was a win.

Sea Witch:

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3/5

Mostly fun but not as spectaculartasticlicious as I was hoping it would be or even as the cover had suggested. To Kill a Kingdom was MUCH better.

The People of Sparks, The Prophet of Yonwood & The Diamond of Darkhold: The City of Ember #2, 3 and 4. I didn’t read these back-to-back though. Except perhaps the last one, these sequels/prequel didn’t capture the essence and tone of the first book which was glorious. But I did like all of them. This series was a win.

Dance of Thieves:

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2/5

Gosh, what an absolute nightmare. The Remnant Chronicles was a good series but it wasn’t something that blows your mind. It had one of the weakest fantasy-level world-building I have ever read and this book which is a sort of a continuation of the story with a different protagonist didn’t improve matters much. It was pointlessly long, boring and just incredibly tedious.

NightBlood:

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4/5

FrostBlood Saga # 3. This was the final book in the series and it was consistent with the previous books in terms of relationships, characters, world-building and plot. The most frustrating and ironically, fantastic part of the book was Ruby and Arcus’s arc.

Mistborn: The Final Empire

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5/5

SO COOL, YO.

SEPTEMBER TBR:

I’ve already read Mistborn #2 and am currently reading this anthology about witches. I don’t know why I bother with anthologies, they always end up being weird. These are the ones I want to read in September:

  • Conatgion by Erin Bowman
  • Catwoman: Soulstealer by Sarah J. Maas
  • Seafire by Natalie C. Parker
  • The Hero of Ages (Mistborn # 3) by Brandon Sanderson
  • Wildcard by Marie Lu
  • Nightflights by Philip Reeve
Posted in Bookish Balderdash, Me Stuff, tags

The Guilty Reader Book Tag

Now, the thing with this tag is, it’s more of a test to determine how big of a liar you are. Every single question asks you whether you lied in a particular situation or you didn’t and I find this funny so I’m doing it but just for the record I think it should be renamed as THE LYING BOOKWORM TEST. Just kidding.

The other reason I’m doing this is because I have no exciting answers to give so this will mostly have me saying ‘no’ which will save a lot of time.

This tag was originally created by someone called ReadLikeWildfire. You can google them yourself, you lazy blob.

#1: Have You Ever Regifted A Book That You’ve Been Given?

No, I haven’t regifted them, which is a nice thing to do. I just sold them.

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This mostly doesn’t happen but one time my sister bought me this stack of books from a sale she went to. They were all different genres, almost all I wasn’t interested in reading. So I did push myself to read quite a few of them and then a couple of years later I sold 3/4 of them to a thrift store. They sold cheap as shit by the way. CHEAP AS SHIT.

#2: Have you ever said you’ve read a book when you haven’t?

No, man. That’s lying. I’m not a liar.

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#3: Have you ever borrowed a book and not returned it?

This also doesn’t happen very often. Like, never. But on the occasion that I did borrow a book I returned it a while later.

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#4: Have you ever read a series out of order?

I remember doing this intentionally once: Murder on the Orient Express by Agatha Christie. Even though this book in the Hercule whatsits series is sort of a stand-alone, still, this was not the first. And I haven’t read anymore from this series.

I  also remember having done this at least three times by mistake/chance/whatever and I didn’t read the whole ‘series’ after that. I just read that one book out of order:

  • Chantress Alchemy. This was the second book and it came out of a subscription box so I had to read it.
  • The Tar Man. Also the second book in the trilogy. This was one of those books my sister brought me.
  • The Mephisto Club (Rizzoli and Isles # 6). Also from the same stack.

#5: Have you ever spoiled a book for someone?

Many times, but minor spoilers every time. As in the kind of spoilers that don’t ruin your fun of the ending or something major. I’ve spoiled my fellow readers about things that were happening mid way in the book.

An interesting story I should relate here is being spoiled, MAJORLY, about Harry Potter, no less. By a cousin. She didn’t understand the gravity of what she’d done and even if she did she shrugged it off because she was older than me and older cousins/siblings can do whatever they want, right? So it was at the time the Order of the Phoenix film had come out and I hadn’t even read all the books then but she comes in and she sees me trying to watch the movie and she goes, ‘Sirius dies in that one’. And, as if that wasn’t enough, ‘Dumbledore dies in the next one.’

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….

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

It was exactly like Leonard being spoiled by Sheldon in the Big Bang Theory, in terms of the bluntness with which the victim was spoiled.

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#6: Have you ever dog-eared a book?

Yes, I have. Contrary to popular sentiment, I have no qualms about doing so either. It’s just folding a small section of a page, not tearing it apart. Get over yourselves. I do it when I don’t have a bookmark in the immediate vicinity or if I want to mark a page a really good quote is on.

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#7: Have you ever told someone you don’t own a book when you do?

No, man. That’s lying. I don’t lie.

#8: Have you ever told someone you haven’t read a book when you have?

No, man. That’s lying. I don’t lie.

#9: Have you ever skipped a chapter or a section of a book?

This merits some detail:

Usually that’s a huge no no for me. If I ever left a chapter out it would feel as though my reading that book didn’t count. So I never do that, at least I don’t leave out whole chapters. I do, however, leave some sections or small paragraphs, this happens very rarely, though. I do it when there’s some explicit or graphic sexual content. This reminds me of IT by Stephen King. I read almost all of it, even though it was the epitome of gross. That book was fascinatingly disgusting.

#10: Have you ever bad mouthed a book you actually liked?

Sigh. No, man. That is lying. I do not lie.

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Cheers!

Posted in Bookish Balderdash, Cool Sewing Projects

Book Bag # 4 – Perfume: The Story of a Murderer

This is the fourth book bag I’ve made in the last six months I think. I’ve shared one of them before in a post. The first one was Emma by Jane Austen.

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The second one was really this unnamed, mysterious and antique-looking one.

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The third one was Pride and Prejudice.

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The fabric had honest-to-God excerpts from Pride and Prejudice.

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And this latest one is Perfume: The Story of a Murderer.

I feel really lazy explaining everything about this latest bag all over again so here’s my Instagram post. The caption describes all.

View this post on Instagram

Number 4.🤓 I thought and I thought and I thought. This is what I finally ended up doing. The idea was sitting at the back of my head for a long time so I decided to act upon it. Years and years ago I came across this film called Perfume: The Story of A Murderer. It was inappropriate for me at the time, probably still is (prudish and proud) so I did what I always do when I deem a film inappropriate to watch: I read the Wikipedia summary.😂 Right, so the film was about this lunatic who killed women and made scents out of their bodies or something like that? I didn't know it was a book too but I had hoped. So for this I checked it out and it WAS a book! I thought it would be a garrish contrast using this pink perfume print for this given the serious and morbid nature of the book and film and the cheerfulness of the print. So that was the thought behind it. But, as it is sometimes with INSANE coincidences, when I was writing on the inside "page" fabric (fabric marker) the very opening of the book I found out that the person the story is about was from France and that the events took place in the eighteenth century. If you look closely at the print you'll find the word Paris all over the place along with 1902.🌞 This is also a bit wider and bigger than the previous ones I've made. For the spine I used the selvage, that's what you call the name of the print and the collection it came from et cetera. It was perfect too that this print was simply labeled "Perfume". 🙊 The Copyright part doesn't hurt either. These were all the pros. There are also cons and I admit this makes me very nervous to admit. It isn't as good-looking or pretty? as I wanted it to look. The grey is especially horrible in the picture but in reality it matches. Still, when I was done I couldn't help but compare it to the previous ones I've made. I love the title and the small part near it that serves as an illustration and that was why I had to go with a plain background but…🙄 This "imperfection" has been nagging me forever and I've had nightmares about this bag TWICE. I'm not even kidding. What are your thoughts? . . . . . . #bookbag #perfumethestoryofamurderer #handmadebag #messengerbag

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This has been my least favorite by far, though not because I worked less hard on it. It just…wasn’t as pretty as the first three!

This pink perfume print is one of my absolute favorites though.

The part that gave me the most grief is this sides/pages part of the bag.

I think this grey was a bad choice. But I really did not have a better option at the time.

I wrote the first couple of paragraphs of the book with a fabric marker which is the suckiest marker to have ever been created. It was clear I wouldn’t be able to write in small letters so I skipped some sentences.

I guess as far as the idea goes it was good. I just wish it looked better than it does.

I hope to make many more of these, each one different from the one before.

Cheers!

Posted in Book Boxes, Bookish Balderdash

BOOK SWAG: Unboxing Bookish Subscription Box

Book boxes used to be such unattainable treasures. This is the fourth one I’ve gotten in the past two years. I don’t get them frequently, I consider that frivolous even though I love them. I tend to be practical (mostly) about such things and whatever I get I use vigorously. All four boxes were by local businesses cause foreign shit is expensive.

The first two were by OwlPost, they, sadly, closed their operations some time ago. Second one was by Absolutely Booked and this recent fourth one is by Traveller’s Tales. They can be found on Instagram by these same names.

So Traveller’s Tales isn’t that popular a business, I’d been following them for some time and when they announced their July theme “Wizards, Witches and Sorcery” I was like

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I ordered this in Ramazan and I got it on Tuesday. My nephews were here and I tried to unbox it with them. I can’t upload the video but the long and short of it is that it did not go well. I was constantly on edge the whole time because those kids are unruly. They wouldn’t shut up, thereby ruining the video saying stupid things or just straight up snatching at things which obviously I couldn’t tolerate. Sigh.

But one way or another I did manage.

I strongly believe that they could do a much, much better job in terms of quality. I did not like the packaging and the print outs and the stickers. You could tell they were badly printed and sub-par quality, but in terms of staying true to the theme and quantity, they nailed it! There was SO much packed inside plus I felt the witchcraft rolling off of the box.

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They gave me a small gift package that included a pair of feather earrings, a ring that was in a small helicopter (I didn’t know it was bearing a ring until the business themselves asked me if I had opened it!) and a pink toy figure. Cute.

Then there were two pages: The Scroll of Deets. I LOVED that, I really did. It listed everything that was in the box so obviously I didn’t read it first.

There were three things that weren’t an ‘official’ part of the box. One was a welcome card of sorts? They actually asked for the subscriber’s witch or wizard name while I was filling out the order form and I gave ‘Seraphina Silver’. They got the spelling wrong, though. Tee Hee. I also didn’t know that ‘Marry Meet’ was a witch greeting. They told me that after I posted this in my story.

One was this small card with a quote about witches. And the last was this glass sword.

The things in the box according to the scroll were:

1- Incense:

One of these is actually part of something else but I made a mistake in thinking that they were the same. The reason was that one of these (I don’t remember) which wasn’t in any separate packaging so I thought they forgot to pack it inside the Incense package.

2- Bath Salts:

Lavender, Coconut and Lots of Fire. Smells nice.

3- Pillow Cover:

FINALLY. SOME HARRY POTTER MERCH.

4 – Doctor Strange Candle:

It smells nice and there was this dope but fake green gem inside. I’m in love with this dope-but-fake gem.

5- Healing Oil:

It smells like medicine. Not the disgusting kind but still, a tiny bit pungent. I don’t know what it’s supposed to heal. The scroll says pain but what kind? Pain of love? Rejection? Stomach? Eh, who cares. I never intended to use this shit.

6 – 8) Books:

The box had three books insie:

  • Coraline by Neil Gaiman
  • Deewan-e-Jigar by Jigar Murad Abadi (a poetry book)
  • Chantress Alchemy by Amy Butler Greenfield

The second was an odd choice but still I appreciate the fact that they added an Urdu book inside. The third one made sense but I think it wasn’t wise. For starters, this was the second book in the series and I hadn’t even heard of it. They could have just as easily added the first instead as I’m sure it’d have fit the theme as well. Second, since they added three books I think it would have been much better if they had added this whole trilogy? Chantress, Chantress Alchemy and Chantress Fury. That said, I still liked this book.

9- Gandalf Bookmark:

Now I know what I’ll use while reading The Return of the King 😀

10- Widow’s Bauble:

This necklace/choker? thingy.

11- Witch’s Secret Garden:

Basil leaves. Again, how do I know these are basil leaves…?

12- Sodalite Bracelet:

This is one of the two things that I didn’t like at all. Meh.



13- Wizard’s Energy Muse:

Cool but er, what do I do with it except take pictures of it?



14 + 17- Scratchin’ Craves:

This had fake nails and Bellatrix Lestrange sticker sheet. That is my second least favorite thing. I would have liked it a lot had it been in better quality.

15- Smudge with Plate:

That’s what the scroll says and it still doesn’t make any sense. There’s a plate with scorpions on it and there’s a fake scorpion and there’s a tiny container with stuff in it that I’m supposed to smudge and then what?

Help?



 

16- Wizard’s Art Print:

I love this so much but again, would that it were in better quality!

18- The Book of Shadows:

A.K.A the COOLEST thing EVER!

They put so much effort into making it look old and archaic and dusty and I loved it. It’s only a couple of pages thick but all are filled with dark and weird witchy stuff like this:

Oh and the scorpion actually came out of the same packet as this.



This was a satisfying experience. The three boxes I’ve had before were 5 times better in quality but they weren’t quite as exciting or quite as full.

Apart from the Chantress book and the bookmark I haven’t actually used any of the stuff yet but all in good time. Meanwhile, I can always keep taking pictures, eh?

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Cheers!

 

 

Posted in Book Reviews, Bookish Balderdash, tags, Uncategorized

The Mid-Year Book Freakout Tag!

I did this last year as well. My, how time flies!

LET’S DO THIS!

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Counting till the end of June, I’ve read 52 books.

Best Book(s) Read So Far in 2018:

Come on, there can never be just one. No one is that unlucky.

  • To Kill a Kingdom by Alexandra Christo
  • A Conspiracy of Stars by Olivia A. Cole
  • Heart of Iron by Ashley Poston
  • Tess of the Road by Rachel Hartman
  • IT by Stephen King

Best Sequel(s) Read So Far in 2018:

  • The Girl in the Tower (sequel to The Bear and the Nightingale) by Katherine Arden
  • Blood of a Thousand Stars (sequel to Empress of a Thousand Skies) by Rhoda Belleza
  • The Republic of Thieves (Gentlemen Bastards # 4) by Scott Lynch
  • A Darkling Plain (Predator Cities # 4) by Philip Reeve
  • Anne of Windy Poplars (Anne of Green Gables # 4) by L.M. Montgomery

New Release(s) I Haven’t Read But Want To:

  • My Plain Jane by three female authors
  • Legendary (Caraval # 2) by Stephanie Garber
  • Gone Rogue (Wires and Nerve # 2) by Marissa Meyer

Most Anticipated Release(s) For the Second-Half of 2018:

  • Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik
  • The Sea Witch by Sarah Henning
  • The Muse of Nightmares by Laini Taylor

Biggest Disappointment:

Disappointment suggests expectations so these are the ones I ‘expected’ to be good.

  • The Cruel Prince by Holly Black
  • The Extinction Trials by S.M. Wilson
  • The Shape of Water by Guillermo Del Toro
  • Iron Gold by Pierce Brown
  • A Natural History of Dragons by Marie Brennan

Biggest Surprise:

Hmm… there hasn’t been a very big surprise so far. But I guess:

  • the Hunter trilogy by Mercedes Lackey?
    Because there were a lot of negative reviews and I had expected it to be bad, instead I enjoyed all three books quite a bit.
  • Also, Whichwood by Tahereh Mafi. I did not like Furthermore but this was so, so heart-breakingly good.

Favorite New Author (Debut or New to Me):

  • Scott Lynch (The Gentlemen Bastards series)
  • Philip Reeve (The Predator City Chronicles)

Newest Fictional Crush:

I’m glad you asked.

  • LOCKE LAMORA
  • JEAN TANNEN
  • CALO and GALDO SANZA

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All four from the same series.

Favorite New Character:

I’m glad you asked.

  • LOCKE LAMORA
  • JEAN TANNEN
  • CALO and GALDO SANZA

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A Book That Made Me Cry:

Well, none. But Tess of the Road gave me bittersweet pangs.

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A Book That Made Me Happy:

The Republic of Thieves by Scott Lynch. I am T-R-A-S-H for this series. Let it be known.

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Favorite Book-to-Movie Adaptation I Saw This Year:

I think the movie will come out at the end of the year but the trailer had me SHAKEN TO THE CORE WITH FEELS. I adore the Hungry City series and while I’m aware of the changes they’ve made, let’s face it, movie-with-changes is better than no-movie-at-all. I did a post on the trailer immediately after, so *shaken was I. (*Shaken, not shook)

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Favorite Review I’ve Written This Year:

Probably of The Extinction Trials.

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The Most Beautiful Book You Bought Or Received This Year:

View this post on Instagram

I have been waiting to read this for months. Nothing was stopping me, I just didn't wanna read it and wait an eternity for the next book. Because this author has the habit of releasing his books every ten years.😭 This came out, what, three four years ago? And there's still no release date for the fourth. The book in question is The Republic of Thieves (Locke Lamora/Gentleman Bastards # 4). Heard of Six of Crows? This series is a more intricate, intense and ruthless cousin. Kaz may as well be Locke's inexperienced little brother. Totally rocking this picture is my dad's magnificent ittr bottle.🔮 The book I finished today was really fun except it had one problem: THREE love interests. Huh. Might as well make them four or five or ten.😐 What I'm most excited to read next is a novella called "Gods, Monsters and the Lucky Peach". Sounds intriguing, yeah?! On the cover there is an old lady with octopus body, tentacles and all, from the waist down. It's sci-fi. #bookstagram #bookstagrampak #bookstagrampakistan #bookstagramming #bookstagrammer #booksofinstagram #booktography #booktographer #bookphotographer #reader #readersofinstagram #bibliophile #bookish #bookaholic #booknerd #bookworm #lockelamora #vintagefeels #perfumebottle #opulent #therepublicofthieves #scottlynch #thegentlemanbastardsequence #exquisitecovers #ittr #newbook #anticipatedreads #adultfantasy #highfantasy #thieves

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Books I Need to Read by the End of the Year:

  • Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson (like, seriously)
  • Sequels to all the books I’ve read before
  • The Watchmaker of Filigree Street by Natasha Pulley
  • The Silmarillion and other short stories by J.R.R. Tolkien

Cheers!

Posted in Book Reviews, Bookish Balderdash

Books Read In June and July TBR List

June was a busy, busy month so despite trying very hard I couldn’t read nine books which has been my usual number this year. I read seven.

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The Two Towers:

4/5

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I still have to read The Silamrillion and other short stories to educate myself properly on the lore but TTT confused me less than TFOTR, to be honest.

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خدا کی بستی (God’s Own Land):

2.5/5

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It was so incredibly … not cheerful? The people in it were Messed Up and the situations they were in were messed up and I didn’t feel particularly thrilled reading this book.

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Welcome to Dead House (Goosebumps # 1):

3/5

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Apparently, everyone EVER has read this series as a child or a teen except for me. This is not why I picked it up though. I wanted to read something quick and these are very short books plus horror is the genre I genuinely want to read more in. This wasn’t terrifying but it was spooky, yes.

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Anne’s House of Dreams:

4/5

It was lovely and bittersweet, much like all the Anne books before.

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The Cruel Prince:

2/5

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It broke my heart (not really) and pissed me off to no end (yes really) that this book, that started off so well, ended up so bad. Like, so bad. It’s called The Cruel Prince but he only has a supporting role in it. The protagonist is infuriating, the development is non-existent. Me not recommending.

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The Outcast:

3/5

I’d like someone to explain to me with diagrams and charts if need be, exactly what the point was of this book. My issue was not that it was bad or anything, the issue is that it’s pretty much pointless as a prequel.

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Only Human:

4/5

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Ah! One memorable trilogy. These books were fantastic. I hated one of the protagonist’s guts in this book but the story itself was great so it didn’t matter.

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July TBR Options:

  1. I’d really like to get to The Silmarillion this month, and possibly even The Return of the King.
  2. A Reaper at the Gates by Sabaa Tahir
  3. The Charmed Children of Rookskill Castle by Janet Fox (you should see the cover)
  4. Legendary by Stephanie Garber
  5. My Plain Jane by three authors
  6. Furyborn by Claire Legrand
  7. Want by Cindy Pon
  8. Wires and Nerve: Gone Rogue by Marissa Meyer
  9. All the Ever Afters by Danielle Teller

Cheers!

Posted in Book Reviews, Bookish Balderdash, Film Reviews

The Mortal Engines Trailer Breakdown

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As I’ve said many times before (but probably no one remembers or cares), I LOVE The Hungry City Chronicles. I read all four books last winter and it’s become one of my absolute favorites! You can read my overview post here.

I came across the full length official trailer this morning and ASDFGHJJKL I AM DECEASED!!!!

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FIRST OF ALL, IT GAVE ME CHILLS.

SECOND OF ALL, IT WAS GLORIOUS.

AND LASTLY, I’M IN LOVE WITH THE WOMAN WHO PLAYS ANA FANG.

Let’s break it down, shall we? So I can scream about each second individually.

The Cast:

Okay, okay, I’ll be calm about this…. Nah.

I CAN’T EVEN WITH HOW PERFECT EACH AND EVERY CHARACTER LOOKS? THE CAST IS SO WELL-CHOSEN I GOT GOOSEBUMPS ALL OVER!

They are exactly as they should be! Especially the woman who plays Ana Fang? I MEAAANNNNNN… WHO IS THAT, WOMAN AND WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR CHOOSING HER? I’d like to kiss both. K Thanks.

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Look at her! My God, I will cry! That IS Ana Fang! I LOVE HER!!!

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Also, Tom looks amazing! The actor is legit perfect.

Valentine, Katherine and Hester are the other significant characters and they all appear and they all look cool. I didn’t catch Shrike so his absence is most definitely intentional.

I guess it’s time to address the elephant in the room. Everybody looks fantastic in their roles, even Hester, who is my favorite of them all. Er, but the thing is… That’s not what she’s ‘supposed’ to look like…

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Scores and scores of people are going to be pissed about this, I haven’t checked reactions, and I’m not exactly thrilled with this either. That was always a possibility though so I can’t say I’m surprised. What this does is intentionally put more focus on the bedazzling effects than the personal development and relationship part of the books.

Maybe they’ll address this later if the franchise is able to expand, but basically, Hester’s ugliness (“scarred from forehead to jaw, nose a smashed stump, a single eye glaring she’s Chucky from Child’s Play essentially) causes her constant pain and she’s on the receiving end of a whole lot of shit she doesn’t deserve because of her looks. Even people whom she loves dearly and are ‘supposed’ to love her back can’t stand how hideous her face is.

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Awkward… Whomever made this must have steam coming out of their ears, I imagine.

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Yeeaaaaaaaaaah, so the film obviously did not go there. Like it didn’t even make an effort. It was quite obvious from the first teaser because both of Hester’s eyes were quite intact but I had hoped that it wouldn’t be as un-gory as this:

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This one is the most accurate because Hester’s face is permanently disfigured into a sneer:

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Trailer Analysis:

  • So we start off with London moving in for the kill. It’s a small mining town which Hester Shaw is aboard and they’re about to be gobbled up.

  • Multiple shots of London, breath-taking by the way, the CGI in this movie is really gonna be something and I CA’T WAIT. So London from different angles while the audience is given a brief piece of history: the 60-minute war that lead to Municipal Darwinism.

  • We see Tom Natsworthy with Katherine Valentine in the London Museum, in the Guild of Historians. I don’t know why he’s so shocked, though, he’s an apprentice there. Also, totally digging this guy FYI.

  • More London, look at the mess these Traction cities make!

  • Ah, Thaddeus Valentine! Handsome Head Historian and renowned archaeologist, but devious.

  • The unfortunate mining town being enveloped in London’s enormous “Gut”.

  • Oh that looks quite nice. Good old propaganda. This hints the Tractionist and Anti-tractionist conflicts to come.

  • We get the whole scene with Hester’s assassination attempt, Tom’s intervention and both of them being thrown in and out of the Gut. Which was AWESOME and went EXACTLY like I imagined!!!

Kick it girl!

You can guess what happens next

  • This is Valentine working with the Artificers’ Guild (I think that was what they were called? Yikes I can’t remember!) on Shrike.

  • The tracks! It’s sometimes hard for me to imagine the scale of such things when I’m reading them so this is VERY COOL!
  • The Jenny Haniver!!!!!!

  • At this point the music gets really good.

  • Behold the physical manifestation of badass! THIS SEQUENCE GAVE ME CHILLLLSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Ana, Hester and Tom aboard the Jenny Haniver! Yasss.

  • I had to squint a little but that’s the flying city of Airhaven!

  • I have an idea who that dude in the middle is, but I don’t recall his name. He was Ana’s friend, obvs and he’s in the next one or two books as well I think.

  • And that has to be the Old Tech MEDUSA.

  • Valentine’s strong belief that Old Tech must be controlled and used for power.

  • Another insane shot!

  • That would be the MEDUSA firing up after which shit hits the fan (in the book).

  • I spy Bevis Pod! That has to be him and he is supposed to be bald!

  • Crying emoji. CRYING EMOJI. So badasssssss.

  • Yup, shit hitting the fan, Airhaven going down, HESTER HUGGING TOM. God, that brings up sad memories. I love Hester so much.

  • That is probably in Batmunkh Gompa where the gang battles it out.

  • You sure you wanna do this?” Um, yeah, Ana. I’m pretty sure.

This trailer brought up so many feels. SO MANY FEELS. It was a solid 10/10. Ana Fang alone is enough to sold anyone and everyone. SHE IS MAGNIFICENT.

I wish with all my heart and soul that it’s a success and that they do more films and give this underrated gem of a series the recognition and love it deserves.

 

Posted in Book Reviews, Bookish Balderdash, tags

The Literary Dinner Party – Book Tag

I’ve scrolled past this tag so many times because I was a little intimidated by the questions, if that makes sense? I always have such trouble sorting out which book/character is my favorite or which I hate the most or which book couple is the best couple and a handful of things that require thinking-through, ya know? So this time when I came to this I didn’t scroll past as FINALLY I have some answers in mind.

Beware, this is going to be one long-ass Locke Lamora appreciation post.

Okay, so the rule of this tag is that there are a total of 12 people in this dinner party, myself included, I have to choose the other 11.

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One character who can cook/likes to cook:

All five of the Gentlemen Bastards are excellent cooks. Locke, Calo and Galdo, Sabetha and Jean had formal training for years under the careful tutelage of Father Chains. Granted, they eat disgusting things like Shark meat and eels whatever can be found in the waters of Camorr and the Sea of Brass but cook they can. I’m going to go with Jean Tannen in this one.

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2. One character who has money to fund the party

Again, all five can afford a measly dinner party, being conniving thieves and all but I won’t choose one of them for this. Prince Elian Midas from To Kill A Kingdom. He’s rich, he’s a pirate, he kills Sirens. I’d like to see the Gentlemen Bastards and a Prince at the same table. Things would get pretty interesting.

3. One character who might cause a scene

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Locke Lamora. No one, and I mean NO ONE, can cause a scene better than this guy even though all Gentlemen Bastards are seasoned trouble makers. He’s just got a knack for bullshitting with supreme confidence which I find infinitely endearing.

“… It’s perfect! Locke would appreciate it.”
“Bug,” Calo said, “Locke is our brother and our love for him knows no bounds. But the four most fatal words in the Therin language are ‘Locke would appreciate it.'”
“Rivalled only by ‘Locke taught me a new trick,'” added Galo.
“The only person who gets away with Locke Lamora games …”
“… is Locke …”
“… because we think the gods are saving him up for a really big death. Something with knives and hot irons …”
“… and fifty thousand cheering spectators.”

EH? EH?

4. One character who is funny/amusing

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Calo and Galdo Sanza are eligible here as well as in the “causing a scene” department but I would so love love LOVE to have Father Chains over for dinner! HE IS DELIGHTFUL. He’s the best teacher, friend and protector to the Gentlemen Bastards, not mention very picky about protocol and manners, the cleverest of them all, the wisest and definitely amusing. They were lucky as heck to have him as their guardian and Locke says as much to Sabetha in The Republic of Thieves.

“There are only three people in life you can never fool–pawnbrokers, whores, and your mother. Since your mother’s dead, I’ve taken her place. Hence, I’m bullshit-proof.”

5. One character who is super social/popular

Anne Shirley from Anne of the Green Gables. I feel tremendous glee in thinking just how awkward/insane this dinner party will be if Anne is sitting opposite the Gentlemen Bastards. Those Bastards are Gentlemen to their core so they will warm up nicely to the super-social Anne but let’s not forget, Anne is a red head and Locke Lamora only has a single weakness… Plus, she’s gonna be horrified when she learns of what they do for a living.

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6. One villain

This one stumps me. I don’t think there’s a villain I love so much I would invite them to ruin a perfectly good (and uncomfortable as it is) dinner party? If I do they would be an “anti-hero/heroine” NOT a villain. If there’s anything that mostly pointless book called Because You Love To Hate Me taught me, it was that. So if I AM going to invite a “villain” it’d be because I want to embarrass him/her and want others to do the same because obviously I don’t love or respect him/her.

The Kommondant from An Ember in the Ashes. That bitch.

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Then again, she probably won’t come.

7. One couple – doesn’t have to be romantic

Calo and Galdo Sanza! Believe me, this pair of twins is more mischievous than any other you may have read about. They’re olive skinned, hook-nosed and handsome looking devils and they are as obscene and adorable as they come. They cook too.

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8. One hero/heroine

Okay, so just to let him know that he isn’t the ripest apple on the tree and that there are in fact, apples riper still and higher still, I would want Kaz Brekker to be there. I like him so he must pay for it. The seating arrangements would allow Kaz and Locke to sit opposite each other and I, at the head of the table thanksverymuch, would be watching them like a hawk.

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9. One underappreciated character

Hester Shaw from The Mortal Engines series. I adore those books but she’s the only one in that series I truly liked and rooted for. Like the tone of the books, Hester is dark and sombre. She’s always misunderstood and always unappreciated by those closest to her and that boiled my blood. She deserved so much better. I feel like Hester will be the only one at the table who won’t talk or interact and whom people would avoid except me. I would invite her because I admire her greatly and I would say as much.

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10. One character of your own choosing

I’d like to invite Murderbot from All Systems Red to this prodigious and remarkable feast. That’d really do it. EHEHEHE. Given how shy it is and how constant the battle is for it to appear normal in front of other humans despite feeling incredibly uncomfortable, I would be greatly fascinated to see how it copes. I’m not a nice person.

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So yeah! This is what the guest list looks like. In any case, I’ll be day dreaming about this dinner party for a few days.

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Cheers!

 

 

 

Posted in Book Reviews, Bookish Balderdash, tags

“Bookish This or That” Tag

Me, with another book tag.

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Doing one after two months. Luckily, I found a simple and straight-forward one this time.

1. Audiobook or Text Book?

Text book, for sure. But audio books are great for re-reads as I’m now discovering. See, I loved the Locke Lamora books and I really wanted to read them again but I stopped rereading a while ago, there are simply too many books out there, waiting to be read.

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So what I’ve been doing for the past week or so is that I listen to the audio book while I sew. It’s two birds with one stone, sewing and reading/listening, plus I get to read whatever I want as usual.

Text Book: 7
Audio Book: 3

2. Paperback or Hardback?

I do not have a preference.*shrugs*

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Paperback: 5
Hardback: 5

3. Fiction or Non Fiction?

FICTION.
FICTION.
FICK-SHUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNN

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Fiction: 10
Non-fiction: 0

4. Harry Potter or Twilight?

There’s a phrase in English, it’s called “righteous indignation”. When I’m asked a question as colossally stupid and non-sensical as this one, that’s what I’m filled with. HOW DARE YOU, SIR? Twilight doesn’t even deserve to be in the same sentence. As Harry Potter. See what I did?

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Harry Potter: 10
Twilight: -∞

5. Bookshop or Online?

Erm, well… online. It’s convenient in a thousand different ways and it’s what I’m instinctively drawn towards as a person. Having said that, I’m not totally opposed to the idea of browsing in book shops. It’s fun, if a little depressing.

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Online: 7
Bookshops: 3

6. Standalone or Series?

Both! It’s a blessing they both exist.

Standalone: 5
Series: 5

7. Sweet and Short or Heavy and Long?

Neither? I like them in all flavors in medium length. That being 300-600 pages at most.

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8. Cosy Read/ Reading in the Sun?

Definitely not reading in the sun. Cosy reading for me is being alone, where there is quiet with something to munch on. Reading in the sun means going outside, and that is unacceptable. I’m allergic to the outside.

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Cosy Reading: 10
Reading in the sun: 0

9. Hot chocolate or coffee?

Chai.

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Hot Chocolate: 0
Coffee: 0
Chai: ∞

Cheers!